Mystery thrills

I am taking a break from reading my voluminous pre-course notes for next week. Yes it’s another exercise of self harm—reading, listening and then writing a 5000 word dissertation. I will be enclosed with total strangers for three whole intensive days trying to understand psychology in organisations. I am resisting the urge to start reading my current fav novels by Kathy Reichs—all about forensic science. A couple of weeks ago Peter came home with three books from Reichs. She was recommended by one of his clients. Peter knows my penchant for mystery thrillers and detective stories. My absolute favourite of this genre is Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes. I have read all of Patricia Cornwell’s Kay Scarpetta character. It was that conversation that led Peter’s client to suggest Reichs. At first I thought Reichs was just copying Cornwell—after all her plots were similar. But Reichs descriptions were more detailed. Yes call me macabre but I do like reading this stuff. I also like the logic and research that goes with every investigation. Anyway, I have read several of Reich’s books since then and I am about to read another one. All in all I only have two books of hers that I haven’t read…yet.
I go through these stages. There was one time I was obsessed with Amy Tan. I read her books from Joy Luck Club to Bonesetter’s Daughter. Come to think of it I think it’s about time to get her new one—I bet it’s on sale on Amazon! Ah, before I even start thinking of looking online I must get through next week’s course. Then I read books from these writers fully immersing myself into the lives of their main characters: PD James Commander Adam Dagleish, Agatha Christie’s Detective Hercule Poirot series and Miss Jane Marple and Ruth Rendell’s Inspector Wexford’s mysteries. Yes I feel I am on first name basis with all these characters!
Do books sum up a person’s character? Does this mean I am some sort of a closet detective or a demeneted perv? I know some people who love to read sci-fi. I must confess down to earth detective stories really capture my attention. Peter says that blood and guts is all I want to read about. Yeah why not? But how do I explain my interest in perusing store catalogues? Maybe it is just a manifestation of my Gemini traits—contrast is my middle name.
We’ve been having some funny weather recently. Yesterday and before dawn today we had hail. Hailstorms are quite dramatic. Sam hates them and he trembles long after the storm has passed. I still washed my car though. I just do not like road dirt left on the car for weeks on end. In short I do not like driving a dirty car.
It’s 2pm and I haven’t had my lunch. Maybe I should make my way downstairs and make myself something really tasty. Hmmm, now that sounds like a great idea!

Over the slump

I am feeling a lot better today than I did mid week last week. Maybe I was feeling a bit under the weather coupled with the stresses at work. I haven’t felt that low before but surely as the sun rises in the morning—at the moment it makes its appearance quite late—I got over the slump. It was really funny because the moment I felt slightly better I was as active as ever. In fact my staff said they preferred me being assertive and grouchy instead of quite and depressed. Haha!
Anyway over the weekend I did a bit of gardening—just clearing up the dead plants and surfing the net especially ebay! It’s like window shopping without the hassle of traffic. I just let my fingers do the clicking.
I should really be getting ready for my course next week. I have loads of reading to do. I swear going for my masters was a good idea at that time but it is sure hard work. It’ll be another scramble for my paper!
Work-wise it has been quite challenging. Actually it is not the work I get my knickers all in a twist but it’s trying to work with difficult people. I am glad I am no longer in that career frae of mind. My current job is a means to an end. It is not the end all and be all of my existence. It does not define me. Gosh I remembered in no so distant past that I defined myself according to my work. It was so transient though. I like things that are constant and reliable like the love of my husband and the loyalty of my dog. Speaking of the mongrel—the dog not the husband—I was looking around the storage space in the attic the other day when he managed to slink by me and ended up by the eaves. I couldn’t get near him because I didn’t want to disturb the insulation and didn’t want to risk going through the ceiling.
Anyway, after a lot of cajoling the mutt managed to extricate himself from the insulation and out in the room. I was really annoyed at him. He then spent the whole day lounging around. I wish I could sleep like him. I especially like it when he’s deep slumber and starts dreaming. First his ears and nose start twitching then his legs jerk like he’s running on air then makes this muffled bark “arf arf arf”. I often wonder what he’s dreaming of. Is he running after his nemesis the cat or is he running after sheep? Actually, Sam lets off a huge sigh before he settles down to sleep. I really envy him that way. I toss and turn before I even begin my 40 winks. Sleep is a major luxury as far as I am concerned.
I do not like my dreams though. They’re weird, disjointed and stressful. Who said dreams are relaxing???

Bear with a sore head

There is something definitely eating me up but I still have to determine what it is that’s making me feel and act like a bear with a sore head or a dog with a bone on its teeth or a cat on its eighth life. It’s really bad because I do not even like to watch the evening news anymore or read the newspapers. One more story about Iraq/Middle East/Afghanistan and I am going to scream! There is another suicide bombing, another kidnapping, another senseless killing. When will it ever stop? Maybe there is no hope for mankind? Maybe I am losing it? Or maybe I need a diversion to get me out of this slump…but what???

Someone sent me this funny poem—the Lost Dr Seuss Poem. It goes something like this-
I love my job. I love the pay.
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss, he’s the best!
I love his boss and all the rest.

I love my office and its location. I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and grey and piles of paper that grow each day.
I think my job is really swell, there’s nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers. I love their leers, and jeers and sneers.
I love my computer and its software.
I hug it often though it won’t care. I love each program and every file.
I’d love them more if they worked awhile.

I am happy to be here. I am. I am.
I am the happiest slave of the Firm, I am.
I love this work. I love these chores.
I love the meetings and the deadly bores.
I love my job. I’ll say it again—I even love those friendly men.
Those friendly men who’ve come today,
In clean white coats to take me away!!!!

I've got the blues

I am having one of those days. It started out pretty okay until two incidents set me off. The first was one of my colleagues bent her office key—and not for the first time mind you—and I had to make a request with Buildings and Estate for an extra key (later on I hammered it back in place and it worked!). It was quickly followed up with a phone call from one of my Information Point staff downstairs. She said that someone used the area over the weekend and left a mess. They also left a whacking big PC box in the wrong place! I was infuriated because I kept on reminding the porters not to let anyone inside the area without my say so. I really felt my blood pressure rising…quite incensed I was! Anyway, I went downstairs and tried to figure out how to solve the problem. Luckily, the person I needed to talk to was passing by so we managed to sort things out. I made sure my staff was happy and made my way back to my office.
It was then I felt my muscles aching and I felt awfully tired and quite unwell. I took a Neurofen® and started my breathing exercise. I didn’t know what hit me. I was just so deflated and my nerves were frayed. Then I started perspiring. I felt my whole body was overheating! I had the fan on full blast. I drank a pint of cold water. I wanted to cool down, go back to bed and sleep it off!
Is it that time of life then? Is this the big M? Was that some sort of hot flush accompanied by a panic attack?

The weekend wasn’t too bad. In fact I even had the chance to wash and wax my car yesterday plus plant some more spring bulbs. Gosh at least there is a bit of optimism left in me. Saturday night I made a really good bouillabaisse. It was so good I decided to write down my own recipe. I am getting really fussy about food. I want my meals to taste “just so” and to my specifications. Last night I roasted a joint of beef (topside). The beef came from a farm in Exeter so I felt really good that I am not using food miles for the Sunday roast. It was good as well—medium rare. Tonight I plan to use up the leftover beef for a Thai beef curry—masaman nua. I’ll cook it tonight together with the chicken tinola. I’ll keep the curry overnight to mature. It will taste fab tomorrow night! I am a very keen cook and I love working with fresh ingredients. I steam all my veggies and I make a mean garlic mash potato. I think I should focus on good gravy. Hmm maybe more research and experimentation on that area.

I don’t know why I get the blues out from nowhere. I hate the feeling. Oh yes I remembered I have my Masters Course at the end of this month—another stress point for me. Why do I do it? I am committed. As they say, it was a good idea at that time!