....before I leave town.
An Office Manager’s work is never done! I’m just about an hour away from three weeks of freedom but I still find myself in demand here at the office. I am supervising a decorator, a locksmith and electrician to get things sorted out before I leave. There’s always something I need to decide on.
I was called in the Enquiries room by my colleagues to answer a rude question. They all burst laughing when I predictably said, “I do not want to go there!” I am well known for my policy against smut at work. No rude jokes, swear words or filthy comments in my presence. Some of the people here knew I wanted to be a nun before I discovered boys.
I am almost out of here but I still have these emails to send. Will this ever stop?
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Before I go
I am just munching on very crisp, sweet and juicy melons. One is a watermelon and the other is a cantaloupe or Galia melon as it is called in England. No, I am not on a diet. I am just trying to quell that mid morning peckish feeling. I usually have porridge oats for breakfast mixed with dark organic Black and Green’s chocolate. When I arrive at work I have my first half cup of coffee. I am trying to wean myself away from caffeine because I’ve been having difficulty sleeping of late. I bring my own lunch, usually leftovers from the previous night’s dinner and I do not snack in between meals, except for the occasional fruit.
The downside to that is I am starving by the time I get home…and I still have to cook dinner!
If there is one thing that I desperately miss, it is authentic Filipino cooking, and sometimes, Filipino house help. I could do with another pair of hands to help me clean the house every weekend. I just feel so shattered after a hard week and to do all the house chores is a massive task for me…but it has to be done.
Tomorrow I will go to Isles of Scilly, off Land’s End in Cornwall. Hubby and I will be relaxing in the numerous private beaches scattered in the islands for two heavenly weeks! It’s funny though, I’ve seen a lot of fantastic beaches but I do not know how to swim. Yesseree bob, I know nada about freestyle, backstroke, breaststroke or even dog paddling. No matter how hard I try I simply sink to the bottom of the ocean like a lead ball. I could almost imagine those swimmers shaking their sun bleached, chlorine perfumed hair. Okay flipper feet, could you solve the mysteries of the universe? Yeah, just as I thought, neither could I so we even now.
However, I am not giving up. Maybe someday I’ll be able to summon up the courage to do a couple of strokes without half drowning myself…and that’s just in the paddling pool. Needless to say, even though my dog swims 1000% better than me that won’t stop me from buying the coolest swimwear from Marks and Spencer. I just can’t wait to wear my new tankini. I must remember to suck in my stomach when posing for the ubiquitous beach photo.
The downside to that is I am starving by the time I get home…and I still have to cook dinner!
If there is one thing that I desperately miss, it is authentic Filipino cooking, and sometimes, Filipino house help. I could do with another pair of hands to help me clean the house every weekend. I just feel so shattered after a hard week and to do all the house chores is a massive task for me…but it has to be done.
Tomorrow I will go to Isles of Scilly, off Land’s End in Cornwall. Hubby and I will be relaxing in the numerous private beaches scattered in the islands for two heavenly weeks! It’s funny though, I’ve seen a lot of fantastic beaches but I do not know how to swim. Yesseree bob, I know nada about freestyle, backstroke, breaststroke or even dog paddling. No matter how hard I try I simply sink to the bottom of the ocean like a lead ball. I could almost imagine those swimmers shaking their sun bleached, chlorine perfumed hair. Okay flipper feet, could you solve the mysteries of the universe? Yeah, just as I thought, neither could I so we even now.
However, I am not giving up. Maybe someday I’ll be able to summon up the courage to do a couple of strokes without half drowning myself…and that’s just in the paddling pool. Needless to say, even though my dog swims 1000% better than me that won’t stop me from buying the coolest swimwear from Marks and Spencer. I just can’t wait to wear my new tankini. I must remember to suck in my stomach when posing for the ubiquitous beach photo.
No-go areas
I lost my religion a while back and I have no desire to look for it.
This may shock a lot of people especially back in Manila but I am just stating the truth here.
I believe that religion causes more harm than good in humanity. It is still the cause of wars, hatred, and generally unhealthy fanaticism of many and I do not want any part of it.
I do understand that people still go to church to experience some semblance of community spirit. I just hope they do that outside the church as well. I cannot say I believe in God anymore. Not after what I’ve been through and what the world is going through. All that matters to me is I create my own peaceful world and try to be nice or civil to the people around me. That’s more I can say for a lot of religious people!
The problem I have with so-called “piety” is that these same people could be so intolerant to others. Who says one religion is better than another anyway? Why can’t people just live and let live? I do not believe in an after life. This is as good as it gets, so I’ve got to make sure I do my very best. That’s my motto: To be the best.
Politics is another no-go area. It is such a polarising topic so I also steer clear away from it. I thought someday I am going to end up as an eccentric recluse. That doesn’t really bother me. I like my own company. I do not even like answering the phone at home. To think that when I was a lot younger, the telephone was my lifeline. Now I just consider it a necessary evil (or bother). I must be growing old indeed.
This may shock a lot of people especially back in Manila but I am just stating the truth here.
I believe that religion causes more harm than good in humanity. It is still the cause of wars, hatred, and generally unhealthy fanaticism of many and I do not want any part of it.
I do understand that people still go to church to experience some semblance of community spirit. I just hope they do that outside the church as well. I cannot say I believe in God anymore. Not after what I’ve been through and what the world is going through. All that matters to me is I create my own peaceful world and try to be nice or civil to the people around me. That’s more I can say for a lot of religious people!
The problem I have with so-called “piety” is that these same people could be so intolerant to others. Who says one religion is better than another anyway? Why can’t people just live and let live? I do not believe in an after life. This is as good as it gets, so I’ve got to make sure I do my very best. That’s my motto: To be the best.
Politics is another no-go area. It is such a polarising topic so I also steer clear away from it. I thought someday I am going to end up as an eccentric recluse. That doesn’t really bother me. I like my own company. I do not even like answering the phone at home. To think that when I was a lot younger, the telephone was my lifeline. Now I just consider it a necessary evil (or bother). I must be growing old indeed.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Walking away
Looking back at my life, I sometimes could not believe how I managed to get through the bad patch without losing my marbles.
I used to think that having children would make me complete. I spent so many agonising years wanting something that almost cost my life. I divided my life in two stages. One was before the operation and the other was after the operation. Before the operation I still had hopes of having children and after the operation all my hopes were dashed. Those were dark days indeed. However, I remembered giving myself an ultimatum. I promised myself that if I am still childless on my 40th birthday I will stop thinking about having children ever again.
In 1997, I walked away from the pain and never looked back.
Now when I recall the times I subjected myself to self loathing because I couldn’t have children, I just think it was such a waste of time!
I do not need children to define myself. More importantly, my hubby loves me just the way I am and we have a good marriage. We are together because we choose to and not because we have to.
But I ask myself, where did all the hurt and pain go? How come the things I thought were so important before just do not matter anymore? I truly find that amazing.
I used to think that having children would make me complete. I spent so many agonising years wanting something that almost cost my life. I divided my life in two stages. One was before the operation and the other was after the operation. Before the operation I still had hopes of having children and after the operation all my hopes were dashed. Those were dark days indeed. However, I remembered giving myself an ultimatum. I promised myself that if I am still childless on my 40th birthday I will stop thinking about having children ever again.
In 1997, I walked away from the pain and never looked back.
Now when I recall the times I subjected myself to self loathing because I couldn’t have children, I just think it was such a waste of time!
I do not need children to define myself. More importantly, my hubby loves me just the way I am and we have a good marriage. We are together because we choose to and not because we have to.
But I ask myself, where did all the hurt and pain go? How come the things I thought were so important before just do not matter anymore? I truly find that amazing.
Assurances
Monday morning… and I am about to start my two-day week before going on my annual holidays!!!! Tomorrow would be my last day here then on Wednesday evening I will be dining in the Isles of Scilly and will be staying there for a fortnight.
The break will give me time to reflect on this year and plan for the future.
Planning for the future has always been a big deal for me. Maybe it had something to do with my childhood, I don’t know, but I’ve always wanted some certainty in my life. I’m one of those people who want to know the ending of the story. I am not into suspense and I absolutely abhor ambiguity. I’ve walked away from passions that didn’t give me any assurances.
Hence I could easily be called a bore, and I really couldn’t care less.
The break will give me time to reflect on this year and plan for the future.
Planning for the future has always been a big deal for me. Maybe it had something to do with my childhood, I don’t know, but I’ve always wanted some certainty in my life. I’m one of those people who want to know the ending of the story. I am not into suspense and I absolutely abhor ambiguity. I’ve walked away from passions that didn’t give me any assurances.
Hence I could easily be called a bore, and I really couldn’t care less.
Friday, August 20, 2004
POET Day (Push off early today)
20 August 2004
It’s my favourite day--Friday. It’s the end of the working week and I am absolutely shattered. My assistant and I did some physical work in the office this morning (archiving, etc) and it is taking its toll. However, everything went well according to plan so I am happy.
It is incredible how much time we spend with our colleagues at work and we are not even remotely related to them, or even like them for that matter. Yet we are expected to be in our best behaviour in the workplace but not really at home.
I am preparing “to do” lists for my staff to deal with in my absence. There’s so much to do just when you’re gearing up to leave for your annual holidays! Imagine two and a half weeks of R&R!
It’s my favourite day--Friday. It’s the end of the working week and I am absolutely shattered. My assistant and I did some physical work in the office this morning (archiving, etc) and it is taking its toll. However, everything went well according to plan so I am happy.
It is incredible how much time we spend with our colleagues at work and we are not even remotely related to them, or even like them for that matter. Yet we are expected to be in our best behaviour in the workplace but not really at home.
I am preparing “to do” lists for my staff to deal with in my absence. There’s so much to do just when you’re gearing up to leave for your annual holidays! Imagine two and a half weeks of R&R!
Thursday, August 19, 2004
The Lucky Ones-Life with a dog
You’re always pleased to see us anytime of the day and in any mood we’re in.
You’re so predictable but never boring.
You make us laugh and sometimes you make us mad, but you never make us cry.
You helped us learn more about ourselves and get over some of our unfounded fears.
You’re always great to watch even when you sleep peacefully in your bed.
You’re never self-conscious and always alert.
You’re forever grateful for everything we give you.
You’re protective, even-tempered, playful and fiercely loyal.
You have a naughty streak in you but you never forget your place in the pecking order.
Your boundless energy is only matched with your obsessive curiosity.
You fill up those quiet moments when you know we just want to relax and listen to music.
You patiently wait for our return and when we do, you show us so much joy and excitement.
You never complain and you offer us unconditional love, no ifs, no buts.
You have enhanced our lives no end. Life will never be the same without you.
We love you Sam. Our lives changed the moment you came in it.
We are the lucky ones.
You’re so predictable but never boring.
You make us laugh and sometimes you make us mad, but you never make us cry.
You helped us learn more about ourselves and get over some of our unfounded fears.
You’re always great to watch even when you sleep peacefully in your bed.
You’re never self-conscious and always alert.
You’re forever grateful for everything we give you.
You’re protective, even-tempered, playful and fiercely loyal.
You have a naughty streak in you but you never forget your place in the pecking order.
Your boundless energy is only matched with your obsessive curiosity.
You fill up those quiet moments when you know we just want to relax and listen to music.
You patiently wait for our return and when we do, you show us so much joy and excitement.
You never complain and you offer us unconditional love, no ifs, no buts.
You have enhanced our lives no end. Life will never be the same without you.
We love you Sam. Our lives changed the moment you came in it.
We are the lucky ones.
Sleepless no more
19 August 2004
Okay, so the sun’s out at the moment but that doesn’t mean it’s going to stay out! Before I lived in England I couldn’t understand the phrase “just talk about the weather”. But now I know. The weather is important, especially in this neck of the woods because it creates the mood for the day. I have to say, I love crisp autumn/winter mornings but dark, foggy, rainy days could precipitate the dreaded “I’m doomed” syndrome. But hey, we won’t think about that now!
I feel a lot better than I did a couple of days ago. In fact I overslept a few minutes this morning and that could only be a good thing. I do not use an alarm even in winter when sunrise is way past 7.00am and I have to be up at 6.30am sharp. I have an in built alarm in my head. I recently had what I call one of my insomniac episodes and I hate it. However, last night I managed to nod off without the help of any medication. Hooray!
Okay, so the sun’s out at the moment but that doesn’t mean it’s going to stay out! Before I lived in England I couldn’t understand the phrase “just talk about the weather”. But now I know. The weather is important, especially in this neck of the woods because it creates the mood for the day. I have to say, I love crisp autumn/winter mornings but dark, foggy, rainy days could precipitate the dreaded “I’m doomed” syndrome. But hey, we won’t think about that now!
I feel a lot better than I did a couple of days ago. In fact I overslept a few minutes this morning and that could only be a good thing. I do not use an alarm even in winter when sunrise is way past 7.00am and I have to be up at 6.30am sharp. I have an in built alarm in my head. I recently had what I call one of my insomniac episodes and I hate it. However, last night I managed to nod off without the help of any medication. Hooray!
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Stormy Weather
18 August 2004
The English weather is well-known for its unpredictability and drenching rain but not for cyclones or tropical storms. However, this summer something’s changed. We’ve been having some dreadful and scary weather patterns. It’s been raining, and I mean raining for days. We see the occasional bursts of brilliant sunshine but then the rain clouds plunge us into menacing darkness!
The other day, a small picturesque village in North Cornwall was devastated when two of its rivers burst their banks. It’s a sight seen in other parts of the world and definitely NOT in sleepy coastal towns like Boscastle. Thanks to the emergency crews no one was seriously hurt but the damage was terrible. The footages were amazing as well. I was glued on the telly watching 4x4s, people movers, vans, cars and mature trees make their way to the open seas. It was a terrifying sight. In a way it was miraculous that no human life was lost!
We’d be heading to the Isles of Scilly, off Land’s End in Cornwall, next week. I just hope we get some nice summer weather. It would be a shame to end this so-called summer this way. Autumn is upon us and we haven’t had decent weather yet!
The English weather is well-known for its unpredictability and drenching rain but not for cyclones or tropical storms. However, this summer something’s changed. We’ve been having some dreadful and scary weather patterns. It’s been raining, and I mean raining for days. We see the occasional bursts of brilliant sunshine but then the rain clouds plunge us into menacing darkness!
The other day, a small picturesque village in North Cornwall was devastated when two of its rivers burst their banks. It’s a sight seen in other parts of the world and definitely NOT in sleepy coastal towns like Boscastle. Thanks to the emergency crews no one was seriously hurt but the damage was terrible. The footages were amazing as well. I was glued on the telly watching 4x4s, people movers, vans, cars and mature trees make their way to the open seas. It was a terrifying sight. In a way it was miraculous that no human life was lost!
We’d be heading to the Isles of Scilly, off Land’s End in Cornwall, next week. I just hope we get some nice summer weather. It would be a shame to end this so-called summer this way. Autumn is upon us and we haven’t had decent weather yet!
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Under the English weather
17 August 2004
I cannot wait to go on holidays. I am counting the days now because I truly feel I need serious R&R.
I have been experiencing insomnia for a couple of nights and today I just feel under the weather. I’ve been taking paracetamol and Sudafed. I am definitely not 100%.
Last night we went to the seaside resort of Sidmouth with my in laws to see one of their old time friends. The couple were on holidays. Actually, the man was my father in law’s boyhood chum. They served in the RAF together during the war and remained firm friends. They also lived in the same county (Hertfordshire) where my father in law grew up. The woman, his wife, suffered a stroke 10 years ago and is on a wheelchair but she was quite lively. We had a good conversation and they reminisced old times. They even talked about my husband's childhood. Everybody remembers my hubby. From the sounds of it he was the “imp of darkness”, up to no good, real naughty sort of boy.
I felt like I was watching an old British movie again especially when my father in law brought out his old photograph album. These people in the old Brit movies actually existed! They were lovely people, didn’t really talk much about the war, just references to it and those who didn’t make it back home. My father in law was so happy when we took them home saying that at least his old friend saw his happy family. They still couldn’t believe that they would have this sort of companionship from us. Hubby really gets on superbly with them.
Last week was quite an international week for us cuisine-wise. On Thursday,hubby barbecued a couple of superb sirloin steaks for dinner. Friday we had Indian curry for our takeaway meal. Saturday, I prepared grilled fresh sardines followed by linguini marinara. Sunday, I cooked lumpiang Shanghai, special fried rice and stir fried veggies. I remarked to hubby that we have a fairly varied diet. I always take the leftover with me for my lunch. We have a microwave at work and I just reheat my lunch there. I got used to preparing my own lunch. I save money that way AND finish the leftovers!
I cannot wait to go on holidays. I am counting the days now because I truly feel I need serious R&R.
I have been experiencing insomnia for a couple of nights and today I just feel under the weather. I’ve been taking paracetamol and Sudafed. I am definitely not 100%.
Last night we went to the seaside resort of Sidmouth with my in laws to see one of their old time friends. The couple were on holidays. Actually, the man was my father in law’s boyhood chum. They served in the RAF together during the war and remained firm friends. They also lived in the same county (Hertfordshire) where my father in law grew up. The woman, his wife, suffered a stroke 10 years ago and is on a wheelchair but she was quite lively. We had a good conversation and they reminisced old times. They even talked about my husband's childhood. Everybody remembers my hubby. From the sounds of it he was the “imp of darkness”, up to no good, real naughty sort of boy.
I felt like I was watching an old British movie again especially when my father in law brought out his old photograph album. These people in the old Brit movies actually existed! They were lovely people, didn’t really talk much about the war, just references to it and those who didn’t make it back home. My father in law was so happy when we took them home saying that at least his old friend saw his happy family. They still couldn’t believe that they would have this sort of companionship from us. Hubby really gets on superbly with them.
Last week was quite an international week for us cuisine-wise. On Thursday,hubby barbecued a couple of superb sirloin steaks for dinner. Friday we had Indian curry for our takeaway meal. Saturday, I prepared grilled fresh sardines followed by linguini marinara. Sunday, I cooked lumpiang Shanghai, special fried rice and stir fried veggies. I remarked to hubby that we have a fairly varied diet. I always take the leftover with me for my lunch. We have a microwave at work and I just reheat my lunch there. I got used to preparing my own lunch. I save money that way AND finish the leftovers!
Friday, August 13, 2004
Life and Death
13 August 2004
My aunt died the other day. May she rest in peace. She lived up to 101.
I cannot imagine living that long and wouldn’t want to anyway because the chances are the people I care about would be dead. I am not frightened to die. I know it is part of life (an irony, don’t you think?). The burden remains with the living because they would have all the “regrets” and pain. That’s another reason why I try to be my best with the people I care about and live my life in the best possible way.
Speaking of life, hubby is toying with the idea of retiring next year when he reaches 60. I am not too sure about it because I still consider him quite young—he acts like it! But hubby’s been working since he was 17-18! Actually, it all hinges on our finances. Our economy is very strong, the Bank of England says it is the strongest economy we had since after the war. I am still ambivalent about his retirement though. I am sure he’ll keep himself busy with golf and pursuing his hobbies. The of course there’s the question about where we plan to stay…are we going to move soon or not? The property market is currently the driver of our economy and although the Bank of England has increased interest rates (a quarter of one percent) to slow down the growth to sustainable levels, prices are still increasing.
I am flagging a bit because I haven’t had my annual holidays yet and I am feeling tired. We are scheduled to go to the Isles of Scilly by the end of August for two weeks. I cannot wait for a bit of R&R. Next year we might go back to the South of France. I mentioned to hubby that we should explore the Continent more. Actually, travel would be first in my agendawhen I do retire. Because of our age difference, I think hubby and I would do that earlier than later.
My aunt died the other day. May she rest in peace. She lived up to 101.
I cannot imagine living that long and wouldn’t want to anyway because the chances are the people I care about would be dead. I am not frightened to die. I know it is part of life (an irony, don’t you think?). The burden remains with the living because they would have all the “regrets” and pain. That’s another reason why I try to be my best with the people I care about and live my life in the best possible way.
Speaking of life, hubby is toying with the idea of retiring next year when he reaches 60. I am not too sure about it because I still consider him quite young—he acts like it! But hubby’s been working since he was 17-18! Actually, it all hinges on our finances. Our economy is very strong, the Bank of England says it is the strongest economy we had since after the war. I am still ambivalent about his retirement though. I am sure he’ll keep himself busy with golf and pursuing his hobbies. The of course there’s the question about where we plan to stay…are we going to move soon or not? The property market is currently the driver of our economy and although the Bank of England has increased interest rates (a quarter of one percent) to slow down the growth to sustainable levels, prices are still increasing.
I am flagging a bit because I haven’t had my annual holidays yet and I am feeling tired. We are scheduled to go to the Isles of Scilly by the end of August for two weeks. I cannot wait for a bit of R&R. Next year we might go back to the South of France. I mentioned to hubby that we should explore the Continent more. Actually, travel would be first in my agendawhen I do retire. Because of our age difference, I think hubby and I would do that earlier than later.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Eurostar
3 August 2004
I am back at work after a couple of days off. My friend and old schoolmate from UP, arrived on Thursday at Honiton. I picked him up from the station. He took the Eurostar from Paris earlier that morning. He arrived in London Waterloo three hours later and caught the train to Honiton. It was a lot easier this time because we didn’t have to pick him up from the airport in Bristol which was more than an hour away.
I prepared spare rib sinigang for dinner. It was so funny because he was hovering in my kitchen the whole time savouring the aroma of the dish. He’s a good guest because he starts out by bringing some really good presents- excellent French red wines and 12 year old Irish whiskey for hubby and bottles of Maggi seasoning, Mang Tomas sauce and fine French chocolates for me.
He got along well with hubby and that helped a great deal. They stayed up late every night drinking and talking. Even Sam our dog likes him!
We took him with us to a dinner party to my colleague Jane’s house. He mixed in well there. Then we went to Glastonbury Tor and Abbey on Sunday. It was a hectic day but well worth it. We took Sam with us. Sam was still recovering from the hike yesterday!
My friend loved the conservatory and garden. He was here a couple of years ago before the conservatory and garden makeover. He thought the house was great.
Hubby took him to the station yesterday morning. I had to go back to work because I arranged office refurbishments and the decorators were coming in first thing. The summer break is the time for me to do special projects like refurbishments, archiving, maintenance etc. Never a dull moment.
I am back at work after a couple of days off. My friend and old schoolmate from UP, arrived on Thursday at Honiton. I picked him up from the station. He took the Eurostar from Paris earlier that morning. He arrived in London Waterloo three hours later and caught the train to Honiton. It was a lot easier this time because we didn’t have to pick him up from the airport in Bristol which was more than an hour away.
I prepared spare rib sinigang for dinner. It was so funny because he was hovering in my kitchen the whole time savouring the aroma of the dish. He’s a good guest because he starts out by bringing some really good presents- excellent French red wines and 12 year old Irish whiskey for hubby and bottles of Maggi seasoning, Mang Tomas sauce and fine French chocolates for me.
He got along well with hubby and that helped a great deal. They stayed up late every night drinking and talking. Even Sam our dog likes him!
We took him with us to a dinner party to my colleague Jane’s house. He mixed in well there. Then we went to Glastonbury Tor and Abbey on Sunday. It was a hectic day but well worth it. We took Sam with us. Sam was still recovering from the hike yesterday!
My friend loved the conservatory and garden. He was here a couple of years ago before the conservatory and garden makeover. He thought the house was great.
Hubby took him to the station yesterday morning. I had to go back to work because I arranged office refurbishments and the decorators were coming in first thing. The summer break is the time for me to do special projects like refurbishments, archiving, maintenance etc. Never a dull moment.
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